Flowers Drink the River
Project Statement
I started Flowers Drink the River in 2022, just a few months before I began my gender transition and started taking hormones. Before that, I had taken almost two years off from creating anything. I was in a really bad place, both mentally and physically. I didn’t have much of a community or any role models to look up to or turn to regarding transitioning.
I had lost my job, moved out of my housing, and was completely broke. I had to move back in with my parents in their small home in rural New Hampshire. I was living with both my parents and grandparents since they all shared the same house. It was a difficult time. I couldn’t come out to anyone because it wasn’t a safe environment to do so. I was living completely closeted, using a lot of substances, and just wasn’t in the right mindset to create art or do much of anything.
Then, in 2022, a friend called and offered me a place to live in central Maine. When I moved there, I was finally surrounded by queer and trans people. That environment gave me a new desire to live and grow. That’s when I started taking hormones and got health insurance. Being part of a community really pushed me to live as my true self and take the big, scary step of transitioning. It was overwhelming and scary. I lost a lot of people in my life through that process but also gained new friends and connections.
Flowers Drink the River starts from that point, moving to a new place, finding community, transitioning, and finally feeling able to live my life and my truth. A lot of the work stems from those initial steps. The book itself begins as soon as I moved to central Maine, where I live now. All the landscapes and people featured are those I’ve come to know, love, and consider family throughout my transition and while starting my life over again. In a way, it feels like a love letter to living my truth.